The International Square and Round Dance and Clogging Convention is coming to town and I can't help but wonder, "What happens when my generation reaches that 40-plus age range?"
Sometimes referenced as "Old Time Dancing", this weekend's jamboree-style activities will showcase some more seasoned folk dancing with elegance, learning a few new steps and using the steps they practiced and performed ever since they were young.
My great grandpa (still alive and well at age 99) has kept alive and healthy over all these years in part because of his his dedication to frequenting the "old time dance" nights in and around his community over the years.
So, here I am, a few generations down in the family, wondering, "What dance are the people my age supposed to be doing when we turn 'old time dancing age'?"
I have a feeling any option chosen won't be quite as flattering as the ones currently performed by the "seasonally aged" folk around right now.
In case you haven't been to a bar anytime lately with the 'younger generation', we'll paint a picture for you (if you have been to a bar lately, just imagine that but with those same people 30-plus years down the road).
Enter "Old Time Dancing" in 2043: the most typical dance style will be the "hip-hop", where the seniors (now comprised of my generation) will enter the dance floor, in all their aged wisdom, and begin dancing (or that's what we'll call it).
Instead, the dance floor will be a sweaty, congested mess of seniors gyrating, throwing their arms around, grinding up against one another and jumping around (by this time all dances will be sponsored by physiotherapists and chiropractors who will be all-but-assured of clients afterward).
That'll be the general dancing; there'll also be the specialty dances.
"What is love" (the Night at the Roxbury classic) will be pumped at the dance and all the 60-year-old men will gather in to one straight line, bob their heads back and forth (cane in hand to ensure balance is kept), and see how long they can go without creating an exceptional migraine (or to see who can continue on the longest without their dentures flying out of their mouths).
For the ladies, "Bootylicious" will be blasted and they'll attempt to shake "it" (that song will be sponsored by hip surgeons).
Or maybe "The Harlem Shake" will still be a thing, and our grandkids can watch as we attempt to do what appears to be a standing epileptic fit (I'm epileptic so that I'm allowed to make that retort) on the dance floor.
For anyone attempting to complete a Break Dance move, the dance title will become more of a literal than figurative meaning (in case you didn't catch that joke, there was a pun on the work "break", as in you'll "break" something trying to "break dance").
Or a Michael Jackson song will come on, and someone will fall backward trying to moonwalk (on the plus side, if you have a walker with wheels, you'll be able to slide yourself backward in moonwalk-like fashion and it'll actually look pretty cool).
But with all of that, we do still have one hope: that by the time our generation reaches the 2040's, we've forgotten "The Macarena" and the "YMCA" (but hopefully not the duck dance, that one's a cross-generational gem).
So, I guess the point I'm trying to get across is, hopefully our generation either picks up some of these dance moves being performed over the weekend in Neepawa, or we forget about dancing altogether (for both our own sake, and the sake of others).
Anyway, until next week, keep a smile on your face and I'll do the same.