As Newton's Law of Motion puts it best, “Every action has an equal and opposite reaction.” (Now-retired teacher Mr. Hart would be proud to know I memorized this)(I also still remember “Boom-de-boom-de-boom” refers to the speeding up of molecules when they are heated). Anyway, it was Newton's law that was stuck in my head following the Christmas break when I came back from my five-and-a-half day long weekend (that was the action) to realize that I had about two days to put together a paper (“Oh s#&@”, was the reaction). Speaking of Christmas, I looked back at this column during Christmas time of last year and was re-enlightened by the “immaculate” poem I wrote regarding my experience eating my first Christmas meal with the former ladyfriend's family (the only reminder I'll give you of that is a three-letter acronym, IBS)(that stands for irritable bowel syndrome). And while I didn't have quite as “interesting” an experience this Christmas as I did back then, I decided that, much like my father's annual holiday tradition is to read 'Twas the Night Before Christmas to the family before sleep time (aka bed time) on Christmas Eve, it shall now become my tradition to rewrite that poem annually in this column using experiences from the Christmas holidays. So, I know it's been months since I've graced you with one of my poetic 'masterpieces', but here goes nothing (and I'll even promise to keep it rhymed): 'Twas four nights before Christmas 'Twas four nights before Christmas, when all through my apartment, 10 friends were stirring, none of them were named Kent. Everyone's red solo cups were filled to the brim, And all made sure each cup had a bit of 'kick' in them. The friends were all keeping busy with games and such, While visions of a good time at the social that night kept their attention much. With Kevin in his sweater, and Michael his brightly coloured shirt, We had just settled in for a night that ensured the next day our heads would hurt. When over in the washroom there arose such a clatter, (I promise this line is unrelated to my poem last year) I sprang to my feet to see what was the matter. Away to the closed bathroom door I flew like a flash, Tore it open, took a step in, and heard a splash. The glistening in the room with the newly-cleaned floor, Let me know that what was in store. When, what to my wondering eyes should appear, A remorseful friend with apologies for me to hear. “I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I promise I only took a pee. Quick, grab your Shop-Vac in the other room, For this mess we must exhume.” I spoke a couple jokes, then went straight to my work, Sucked up all the water, then turned with a jerk. I sprang to the door and to my friends gave a whistle, As I entered the living room, back in to sight, “Merry Christmas to all, I hope we have a good night, But no one else is allowed in this washroom tonight!” Anyways, until next time, keep a smile on your face for the week and I'll do the same.