If life is still anything like it was during my grad days, all of the beautiful people featured farther back in this issue are receiving a lot of advice on what to do now that they are leaving high school, their home (may not be the case for everyone; see my past columns for an example) and heading into a new stage of their life.
Just as happened when I graduated, some advice given will be helpful, some will be useless (like if your grandpa recollects how he graduated and then had to train a horse to take him into his university classes) and other advice will be so abstract you're not even sure what is being said.
Having said that, the advice I am about to offer all of you is definitely in the helpful category, and will help you become just like me (I'm sure a good chunk of parents just put a lighter to this page to ensure their children never read this).
So, pull up a chair and take a seat kiddies, because your in Kaiten's classroom now:
Rule 1: Don't always shave
These years are supposed to be your "experimental years".
While some people believe "experimental years" refers to you, well, smoking the refer, it doesn't; it's actually a reference to what should be done with your body hair.
Men, this is your NHL playoffs; for periods over the next five years you need to let out your inner cave man and just let that facial hair grow.
And get "experimental" with it.
Maybe one month you go for a big, bushy beard; let the man in you come out.
After that, you might want to try growing the handlebar moustache (see: Hulk Hogan), a goatee, sideburns (be sure to try the Abraham Lincoln style) or make up your own twist (one of my friends connected his facial, neck and chest hair by shaving a path from his sideburns to stomach; but that's only for the extremely hairy folk).
And don't miss out on the opportunity because, once you're married, your wife will ensure you never have that opportunity again (wives somehow have ways of making their husbands listen; this you'll learn a little later in life).
For you ladies, over the next four years the men are going to be very hard to fight off.
Unless you want to try growing facial hair like the men, I suggest you go for the better option and take the odd month where you don't shave your legs.
If you're feeling like you want a break from the "man rush" for a bit, nothing will scare them away like short shorts or a skirt showing off your hair-covered legs (warning: this may also attract a few weirdos; if you are hit on while trying this theory, always, always say "No").
Rule 2: Be social
This doesn't mean turn into an alcoholic.
Don't get me wrong, having a few drinks the odd night is always (usually) good fun, a nice stress reliever and a way to meet a few new people, but having drinks every night is just going to slow you down.
What I mean by "being social" is to take time away from the books, classroom and 'tree of knowledge' to hang out with friends, get on an intramural team or extra curricular group, try out a new activity or maybe go take in a local event or sports game.
Sometimes what you learn outside of the classroom is just as - or more - valuable than what the textbooks and professors are teaching you.
Rule 3: Get uncomfortable
Apparently I've ran out of space and need to chop this column in half, so for this and a couple more rules, check back for the sequel next week.
In the meantime, to the grads, enjoy what you've accomplished, celebrate your graduation in style (and safely; see Geordie's cartoon next page), and, most importantly, keep those pearly whites gleaming for the week and I think I'll do the same.