Well we will move out of the third-person and back into the first-person for this week's article.
And no worries, I haven't had any Ice Capps today nor am I feeling stressed (that comment is only comical if you read last week's column).
To start off my week, I had an interesting little note left on my vehicle for when I returned from coaching a soccer game in MacGregor last Thursday.
A letter of fan mail (or perhaps a profession from my stalker), folded in four, neatly written and sealed with a lipstick-covered kiss with some kind words for my articles.
Ironically, the person (who I am hoping is not a man)(but if it is, I must admit, they do have nice lips) claims they were able to identify my vehicle because of the article last week where I referenced my Lumina LS.
I was going to rewrite her note as a Letter to the Editor, but felt it would be better served as a direct copy and it can be seen below (note, the one word says 'abs', just so no one thinks there's any profanity in this paper).
An FYI, I plan to give the note to my friend and always reliable Hymie to have some forensic work done on the prints and lipstick, so we'll know who you are soon enough.
On a different note, I attended the Talent Night (note the photo essay page in this issue) featuring NACI and HMK talent as a fundraiser for the Roxy Theatre. I must admit, I expected the idea to be a great one, but the talent to be corresponding to the age of the students involved (I think that was a politically correct way to phrase it).
To my pleasure, the talent was aplenty, and there wasn't a single act where I wasn't wow'ed at some point by the ability of the youth on stage. Some great music, funny acts, magic and athleticism were all on display.
It's also the first talent show I've ever seen where everyone involved got 'first place', and I think they all deserved it.
Going national, am I the only one fed up with the Quebec students still going on strike. Give it a break already.
Maybe my information is incorrect, but from what I hear they already have the lowest tuition rates in Canada, AND that's what they're lobbying for (the only students who should have been walking the streets this long were in BU and screwed out of a few month's worth of education, tuition and rent costs).
I'm all for free speech, but they're affecting business and, moreso, now they're getting out of hand.
Latest acts from some of the students has them walking around with the Nazi hand-raised signal, claiming it is aimed toward the police officers who are treating them unfairly.
Not only is that highly offensive, it's ridiculous to even come close to comparing their experience with how Jewish people were treated during the Holocaust.
But that's just my view and rant.
Let's be a little less serious now, here's a few puns I came across recently:
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.
How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.
They told me I had Type-A blood but it was a Type-O.
I used to be a banker. But then I lost interest.
I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
PMS jokes aren't funny; period.
I wasn't able to get a Record Attempt story done up this week but, long story short, a few of us did what was necessary to get the 30 bottle caps needed for the attempt (use your imagination to figure out how that happened). Next week should be the first attempt with video footage.
A former prostitute went on CNN this weekend and told people she regretted pimping out a virgin (then some guy in a purple-coloured fur coat and hat popped outta nowhere, backhanded her, and reminded her "Pimps don't cry".)
I watched a movie called Sleeping Beauty – a real-life remake, with a strange twist - last week (please, don't make the same mistake I did).
Leo McCarthy, a father who lost his 14-year-old daughter as a result of a drunken driver, has started an interesting scholarship program.
Students can go online to pledge not to drink or get into a car with a drunk driver and, if at the end of their senior year they have not been convicted of underagfe possession of alcohol, they can submit a scholarship application.
So far, the challenge has given scholarships to 140 high school students (I don't have a smart comment for that one, just thought it was cool).
People in the USA mistook a military drone being carried atop a flatbed truck down a major highway as a UFO recently (would they really have Area 59 if they were just going to parade alien ships down Washington, D.C.'s Capitol Beltway).
Popstar Rihanna was recently quoted as telling people she is not happy with her size zero body (I think I speak for all women when I say, "Shut up"). She also complained about wanting her old butt back (I think I speak for all men when I say, "We all want you to as well").
That's it for this week.
Until next time, keep a smile on your face and I'll do the same.